1st draft
People rarely influence me because I have my own mind and don’t allow a lot of people to get that close to me although there is one that has made me the way I am today. That one person that has influenced me a great deal is my grandfather. When I was a little boy he was always there to pick me up when I was having problems in school and at home. My grandfather is probably the strongest member in my family. He really holds all things together. I say this because whenever somebody needs something in the family and even in the community he is the person that people flock to. He is also the kind of person that would give his last dollar to you if it mint that he wouldn’t be able to obtain what he wants. All his life he’s been a workaholic doing what he had to do to support his seven kids and wife working as a truck driver. He’s always had a side hustle like working on lawn mowers, cars, buying cars at auctions and selling them, things like that. Ever sense I was young I would be around him at every chance I could and it also helped that we live in the same neighborhood. But I was seeing him so much that I would get him and my dad mixed up and call him dad because I would spend more time with him then my real dad because he was at work a lot. Everything he would do and wear I would want to do the same because he’s a great guy. Most of my traits and habits I get from him like hunting and fishing. In my family, everybody knows that if they can’t get through to me or I just don’t listen to them, that I would listen to him. I’m now the handyman now in the family since he has become ill. Given that he’s became ill he has became weaker and can’t do things like he once used to and it hurts him deeply. Now it’s my turn to return the favor that he gave me when I was younger and weaker. All the things that he once cherished like hunting working on small engines and just being out in the sun I am now able to allow him to do so. But with all this going on he is now becoming much better and2
strong again. Allowing my whole family including me to spend another great day with him my grandfather.
New
People rarely influence me because I have my own mind and don’t allow a lot of people to get that close to me, although there is one that has made me the way I am today. That one person that has influenced me a great deal is my grandfather. When I was a little boy he was always there to pick me up when I was having problems in school and at home. My grandfather is probably the strongest member in my family really holding all things together. I say this because whenever somebody needs something in the family and even in the community he is the person that people flock to. He is also the kind of person that would give his last dollar to you if it meant that he wouldn’t be able to obtain what he wants. All his life he’s been a workaholic, doing what he had to do to support his seven kids and wife, while working as a truck driver. He’s always had a side hustle like working on lawn mowers, buying cars at auctions and selling them, things like that. Ever since I was young I would be around him at every chance I could, and it also helped that we live in the same neighborhood. But I was seeing him so much that I would get him and my dad mixed up and call him dad because I would spend more time with him then my real dad because he was at work a lot. Everything he would do and wear, I would want to do the same because he’s a great guy. Most of my traits and habits I get from him like hunting and fishing, painting cars, and the way I act. In my family, everybody knows that if they can’t get through to me or I just don’t listen to them, that I would listen to him. I’m now the handyman in the family since he has become ill. Given that he’s became ill, he has became weaker and can’t do things like he once used to and it hurts him deeply. Now it’s my turn to return the favor that he gave me when I was younger and weaker. All the things that he once cherished like hunting working on small engines and just being out in the sun I am now able to allow him to do so. But with all this going on he is now becoming much better and strong again. Allowing my whole family including me to spend another great day with him my grandfather.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing this story about such an important man.
On the other hand, good editing on the essay, but as I said in class, this is editing, not revision, which was the purpose of the assignment.
On a side note, it's too bad you weren't able to play this video in class with your presentation. It seems like there needs to be some solutions to this deer / human thing; your argument possibly one of them, as it could save some human lives.
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